We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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