His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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