Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
