dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
