Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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