So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
