It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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