Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
