Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
