I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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