dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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