Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
