Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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