I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
