I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
