i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
