You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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