yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize