Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
