What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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