Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
