it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
