I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
