all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
