I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
