can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
