PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish you could order shots online.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
