I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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