I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
