Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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