butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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