so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
