i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
