I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
