Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
