I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
