the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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