ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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