am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
