dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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