This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
