So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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