Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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