Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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