Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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