enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize