Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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