"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
