That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
