i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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