i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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