I am spending my child support on dildos
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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