it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
