He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got inside last night via doggy door
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
