there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize