you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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