dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
