He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
