Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
