Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you still have your period?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
