So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
