$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
