Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
